Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
