champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
