I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
