Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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