You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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