I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
babies were throwing up all over the place
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
