Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
