your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
