I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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