Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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