My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
