i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
