get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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