Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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