I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize