Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize