You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
