A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
