yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
