david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize