I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
