have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
