On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Randomize
