i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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