I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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