Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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