he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
