Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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