He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
