So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
