Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
