so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
this just has baby written all over it
either way he was missing a nipple.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
