you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
