I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
