is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
