I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In other news, I just burned my penis
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
