**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Alive.
So much puke
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
