real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
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