the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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