I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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