woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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