saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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