Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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