saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it was like having sex with a tree stump
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
my poor anus
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize