Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
