I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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