Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
