if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
