peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
tell me about the eggs
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize