I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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