I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize