Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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