I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Never joke about your clitoris.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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