Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Duck Duck Cougar?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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