I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
