Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
