I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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