member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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