Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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