Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
