I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
