And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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