And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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