don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
how does that bad decision feel?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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