GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
