I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
